Sunday, December 5, 2010

wow. that was 1 hell of a marathon. I went into the marathon with no prior training and an injured adductor muscle. didn't expect to get a pb out of it.

The race started over at orchard, running down through china town and finally to the usual marina route, ecp and back to the padang. wow. that was 1 hell of a ride. started off the first 10km with gerald and his friends, doing a 6-7min/km. haha i needed so pee so badly during that time that we went to some bushes near clark quay and just pee-ed oops! :x the route was good with everchanging scenery. it was like a tour of all the christmas deco! ahah

met many ppl along the way. omg the run after ecp was quite tortureous. it was HOT and LONG!, running through some back route to marina following on to the barrage. that was where it tested my mental endurance, which sadly i started to walk at the barrage. did like 30km ard 3.5hrs at that point of time. abt 6km to finish line after a gruesome 4hrs of running, something usuall happened after the barrage. i had chest pains. or rather some uncomfortable feeling at my heart. cos of that i walked another 3km, hydrating myself continuously then. maybe it was because i was dehydrated.

whoa then came up to nicoll highway. KILLER! i was running as fast as i was walking! but slowly but surely, i was motivated to hit a pb of a sub 5 timing which i did! according to my watch, i clocked 4hrs 50mins! :D could have done a 430 though if that thing didn't happen to me. oh wells! next time i better train! who knows i can do a 4hr marathon :D. till then... i'll be nursing my aching muscles and that strained adductor muscle which is refusing to let me raise my right thigh up without any difficulty. tata!


Sunday, October 24, 2010

i need to find the confidence which i once had, back.
it has been 4 mths since i've commissioned. many things has happened. i feel that i've lost myself in army especially since going through officer cadet school and comissioning as an officer. i'm currently on course now back in safti. i can't help but feel helpless in the course. not much i can offer since i've lost myself somewhere along the way. i rmb the first few weeks of cadet days, a fellow cadet kept asking why i'm always smiling to myself and i replied its natural for me to be happy. since then when he saw me along the corridor, he called me mr happy smiley man. i can still rmb those days. but now when i look at myself, i seldom talk nor smile anymore. i wonder how i lost myself so much. before army i used to be a very happy man, smiling and taking life as it came, making friends all around. now, i'm a very moody person who became a pessimist too. i do not like the person i become and i wonder if that was the cost of officership, to lose all emotions. i mentioned in bmt that i was a very people oriented person, who is very epathetic to their feelings but now, i'mhave a nonchalant attitude abt everything. i do not like the person i've become. i have to change. maybe somehow back on course i feel inferior to the regulars and also the infantry trained personnel. urg. maybe the first step is that i shall smile more. and from there i'll slowly find the path back to my old self.

Sunday, August 29, 2010


its been a while. the most interesting thing that happened so far was that i was offered a deal with oddfellows to use my photo in a lexus ad in lieu of promoting rugby amongst the young as part as its effort of supporing the wallabies.

a penny for my thoughtsit has been a while. i've been a pc for quite a while, about 2 plus months infact. but somehow i still doubt myself as a good pc, still relying much on my upperstudy. haven't really felt the satisfaction of being one because of the different kind of ops that i do compared to those that support conventional ops. maybe it's because of the different estab and stuff that my coy does and its like starting from scratch, most of which the stuff i've learn from SOCC is irrelavent. i haven't really established a command presense yet because of the many decisions which i cannot fully process through yet. yet with the guys, though i may appear as friends to them, i've no idea how to lead them and change their mentality on the work their doing. been feeling lost since i've posted it although i've fully adapted with unit life and its many privileges that an officer is entitled to. many mistakes were made by me and i kinda feel bad after committing them. urg. maybe it'ld be all be better when i fully take over and learning the lessons all by myself. i think i've lost all the determination and confidence in myself. i want things to be like before, like prior to army, and in bmt. i think ocs sucked all those out of me, my sense of adventure, confidence, cheerfulness and being unafraid of voicing out and doing whats right. maybe it was a mistake to enter ocs.
on the brighter side, i've got CTC hw which i have yet to do and is due for submission next week. and next week i've got outfield. tsk. and also moving over to another bn where arrows are waiting to be shot at me.

oh well heres a pic that i took in vietnam

Morning FIsherman
Non Nuoc Beach, Danang, Vietnam D80 17-50 f2.8

Sunday, June 27, 2010

i commissioned last week and sadly the euphoria of commissioning has left me.

But the story of my OCS journey will etched in my mind forever. I was reading some of my old blogpost and the last time i blogged about army was during bmt. So some backtracking...BMT was one of the best days of my army life so far. I completed it and passed out as Jaguar Platoon 4 best. Well, i guess by now you should have known that I made it to OCS.

There are 256 steps in the SAFTI Tower. The significance of these stairs is that it takes 256 days to commission as an officer. After a long arduous journey, i've reached the top of the tower but i've not forgotten the very first step into the journey.

on 23rd Sept 2009 (wow thats so long ago), i entered SAFTI MI, Golf Wing. Weekend confinements was so common. I remembered that the 2 week confinement in BMT was quite sad, but this time in OCS, it started with 3 weeks. Basically the morale remained at an all time low during that period. but nevertheless weekend confinements was a very common thing throughout this 15 weeks of service term. What made it worst were the VERY late bookouts on Saturdays, resulting in a less than 24 hr bookout.
These made me very immune to not booking out. Training was tough and outfields were as tough. I remember the 10 days of section field camp. It was the shaggest period of my life. Amidst all these exercises, there were many moments which i will remember, the funny ones, the ones where we got tekan, the plan that didn't go as expected and also the things that tied us together to get through those "shit". After going through service term, i can finally relate to the war movies/series ands how shitty it is to be out in the field and it made me appreciate home more. Everyweek, my friends told me that i've lost weight and it made me feel quite sian. Service term, came and went, with a blink of an eye, i was up elephant hill after a tiring 24km night route march to get our pro term bar. I was the Cadet Platoon Sergent then and i remembered tanking all the roles and shit because my CPC was always busy with god knows what. Suspense of our postings were also in the air and i hoped and prayed that i wouldn't end up in infantry. i rmb the time i got pranked that i got posted to infantry and i was on the verge of tears. Engineers was my first choice because i wanted to try EOD or CBRE but on the morning of our last day of service term, i found out i was being posted to Signals. It was quite a sian moment.

Next came Christmas and New year and before you know it, 2nd of Jan 2010 i was on the flight to Brunei. Here i embarked on Support Officer Cadet Jungle Orientation Training. I remembered that the weather there was extrememly hot and on the other hand it rained like crazy. The black flag infront of our bunks always flew high and proud. In this unkown land, i experienced combat swimming and a x1000000 scale of compass course to familiarize us with the terrain. It was quite screwed and the hills were extremely steep, making bashing seriously slow and tedious. Finally the day came where we had to embark on our mountain rat, a 4d3n ex where we had to find several check points and climb mt biang. I rmb the streams where we had to walk through and also the refreshing water which i filled my green water bottle with and i didn't know that simplet hings like washing my face with the cool stream water could boost my morale for quite abit. It was only here that i appreciated the training Golf Wing gave me. rationing food and water was easy and also walking around with extra 1.5l waterbottles wasn't really tiring as compared to the teamates from different wings. Golf trained us with heavy route march weight that climbing up and down or overcoming obstacles with extra water didn't feel much. Organisms here were like ampliified. Super big ants, super thorns etc etc were common everywhere. I remember the nights in Brunei where the flies kept flying into your face, the wonderful night skies floating above us, the sharing around the campfire and of course the nights where we ran into our fellow golfmates tents when it suddenly poured. and not forgetting the night where we had to habour on mud! It took us abt 1-1.5hrs to climb mt biang but going down took us ages. We linked up with the other 2 signal teams. Upon reaching the end, we encouraged each other by shouting 1 more knoll 1 more knoll to the end. But also not forgetting the 60-70 degree knoll that we had to climb to heartshape knoll. it was literally "rootclimbing" But finally, we managed to reached the end. Swiming across the gaint river which i forgot its name never felt so good. But all in all, 3/4 Signal Teams finished it in 3d2n. Rest and Recovery days were the best. we literally just sat outside bunk, facing the helipad and the vast Bruneian farmland eating maggie because we couldn't go to the cantenn till the last team arrived. This was my Brunei experience, something great to rmemeber but not a experience i want to go through again.

Next up, on 10th Jan 2010, the same day which i touched down, i had to book back into stagmont camp in the evening. This was when Pro Term started. Signals was pretty much very knowledge based and it was something totally different compared to service term where we were stuck in the classroom most of the time. Somehow, there was more expected out of us overall in terms of discipline, intiative, knowledge etc etc compared to service term. The morale of the course remained at an all time low all the way till ROC. Our morale was constantly pushed lower by our course commanders and oc because they were very particular about many things. Then, i tried to see the light at every opportunity, even if it was a glimmer and tried to boost the morale up within my small group of friends. Exercises were of a much different estab now and focused more on planning instead of the chiong sua part. Missions now made us sleep deprived. Here in pro term, my fitness dropped drastically because of the lack of pt due to the packed schedule and high learning curve required. There was also alot of rubber timing and time wasted waiting for the instructors to finish their brief. which could take hours waiting outside the instructors office. ROC was the best time of my life here in Signals. The weather was good! and now the exercises made more sense now. The course worked more cohesively and me and my friends got tighter. It brought out the true colours of some of my peers and there i found new friends which i can rely upon in the future. I appreciated seeing the giant bhudda outside my window because it meant that i wasn't outfield but in camp and also it was a landmark which i can tell myself, that we're finally reaching back camp. the highlight of the 3 weeks there was the 72km route march. it was pretty enjoyable with the changign landscapes and the time where we spent with each other. The charlie mike at the end was super cheat feeling. it was only the part where i felt pain walking. They basically told us that we're heading back to camp because the ex was cut due to a cold front. They sealed the back of the humveee, drove off and the next thing you know it, we were dropped at some weird place. We were told some chinese poem but the jeez of it was that we are to head west along 158 jia and we'll find our destination. it was known by the signal ppl as the silk road, where we had to just walk and walk and walk and walk along a lonng straight road which had no ending. It tested our perseverence and mental resiliance to just go through it. But whatever starts too must end and we finally reached the end as the 2nd team. (i still think that we were the first pfft) R&R was great. i want to go back there and meet the chicks again! but that was all for our overseas exercise. The last month and a half in pro term was spent on our specialization phase and also our csb and atp. csb was piss shag man! "REEL LINES!" was always heard everynight where we were called out from our bunks to literally reel lines or to settle admin stuff. This was the reason why we had so lil admin time haha.

Joint term was the time of our lives. Suddenly, there was an influx of admin time and no one was around to tell us what we should do (except for the training prog). Things were so much slacker now, we no longer had to march properly no sing loudly. The aim of these 3 weeks was to train up for our commissioning parade on 19th June. I enjoyed the privilege of getting a 2man bunk again, with a working computer and loads of cupboard space. I bunked in with john low and my bunk became sort of a game hub. Signals shared GOLF wing with Armor. It certainly brough back many memories. Joint Term saw many of us catching up with one another and also making many new friends in the process. Here we had our very first nights out in our entire cadet life. YES, i took them 8 months to decide to give us nights out. tsk. Parades were shag but it eventually prep-ed us for the parade of our lives. Soon, we found some fun in the parades, talking amongst one another, making jokes while we tried to surive the many re-runs of the whole 1hr plus ceremony.

after 9 months of rigous and tough training where many were pushed to their own limit which also saw many defining moments which displayed the spirit of the human endeavor.
men dressed in white no 1 uniform don their peak caps and prepare themselves for a parade of their lives, showing the world that they're prepared, prepared to be newly commissioned officers of the Singapore Armed Forces. According to the spectators, the parade was quite the show of the night.

the feeling of accomplishment and pride filled the parade square as we all threw our caps high into the sky and hugging the fellow newly commissioned officers, basking in the new found light. that was the moment that many thought "it was worth it" this moment was certainly one that i will remember for life. i can't help but say again the joy and euphoria that filled me as i heard "LADIES AND GENTLEMAN, MAY I PRESENT THE NEWLLYYY COMMISSSIONNED OFFICCEERS" which was the cue. i jumped and threw my cap as high as i could, screaming with joy as i ran to retrieve my cap and huged my friends around me. i wish i could experience that adrenaline again. but oh wells.

another chapter ends and a new one begins, one which will be full of surprises. i am at the top of the safti tower and i'm about to jump down into the abyss of the unknown trying to catch the ropes as fast as i can. thats life of a 2lt now. one big word, responsibility.

CONGRATULATIONS FELLOW 7709 OCC GRADUATES! i'm glad i went through the journey with you guys and will miss you guys very much when we've parted our ways to our new units.

all the best to my good friends in SOCC! esp john low, george thng, lychee, zenny, jy, jianlun, shawnzee, kenny, vincent, and many more (party because i'm booking in and i've got no time to type all) okay am about to cry now.

OUT to you!
tee, with much <3

Saturday, May 1, 2010

mel's sunshine

farewell mel. like francis said. the third day will be hot because of your sunshine reigning down on us and it really did. you were there. i tried not to shed a tear and it was hard but i knew that you are in a better place right now, watching us. i'll remember the many fun times that we had together but the thing that i remember most was how you were always cheerful and fun. i know you don't want us especially lou to be sad. i will remember to smile and try to make the rest of the guys smile too. goodbye mel and let your sunshine bless us. always. may the good lord bless you.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

different footsteps
Non Nuoc Beach, Danang, Vietnam D80 17-50 f2.8

strangers, are just family you have yet to come to know

on 090709, I gave up my life as a civilian for that of an NSF.

week 1: retarded admin stuff
week 2: rifles! book out loh!
week 3: IFC
week 4: FIELD CAMP wtfffff 46kg now
week 6: Range! pew pew! marksman!
this week: Sit test hopefully Ocs!

kk time to book in now.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

I wrote this song years ago late at night somewhere on the Goldhawk Road
I was never sure how or why
Before the war and the tidal wave engulfed us all it's true how the world has changed
And I was learning how to change with you

We saw the green fields
Turn into stone
Such lonely homes
All in a badman's dream
He ain't asleep
It's just a dream

In the darkest hour the song had gone it passed among the people I hardly knew
And I was losing it all the time
But she stayed with me and found me out and above all things I've learnt
It's that honesty that secures the bond in the heart

We saw the green fields
Turn into stone
Such lonely homes
All in a badman's dream
He ain't asleep
It's just a dream

Green Fields - The Good The Bad The Queen

Saturday, May 30, 2009

I like going to award shows because it's like going to a zoo for famous people - except that you can't feed them because they are all anorexic
Outside Punggol MRT, May 09, D80 70-200 2.8 FX

Life just isn't a mass rapid transport.
Don't get caught up with what everybody's doing and learn to take a step back.
Do take the time, sit back and enjoy an ice chilled beer.
Watching the world go by and taking the opportunity to learn as life tickles you with new riddles.